Financial literacy, financial responsiblity-teens and young adults, Helicopter parent, life skills, motivation, parenting, Parenting humor, Parenting teens and young adults, parenting young adults, teaching financial responsibility

How to Keep Your Young Adult From Moving Out* *Disregard if you’re ready for an empty nest…

If you’re looking for some ideas to keep your young adult at home forever, I’ve come up with some great tips.  These ideas will be especially helpful for parents of those who have decided that their education is complete or those who have completed college or trade school and are in imminent danger of moving out into the world.

 

  1. Make sure that you perform all of your parental cooking duties with regularity and without complaint. Do NOT trouble them with worrying about where their next meal is coming from and whether or not they have the time, energy or inclination to cook and clean up.  Keep the fridge and pantry full of their favorite snacks and be willing to make a special trip to the store just as soon as a special item has been depleted.

 

  1. Do their laundry regularly. If they don’t put it in the laundry basket, you’ll have to gather it yourself.  No respectable parent would ever allow their young adult offspring to be traumatized by running out of clean underwear!    Be sure that when you clean their sheets you make the bed afterwards.  After all, they didn’t ASK you to tear apart their bed.

 

  1. Don’t ask for any help with chores. After all, it’s YOUR house, so you shouldn’t impose YOUR standards of cleanliness on them.  Even their own room should either be cleaned by you or left untouched.  It’s ok though; since they will always be living with you, they will never need to learn to keep things tidy in order to successfully coexist with a roommate or a significant other.  Besides, they need to use their spare time to play video games and catch up on their favorites shows. 

 

  1. Ensure that they have the freedom to host friends both day and night.  Don’t embarrass them by expecting them to ask you for permission.  After all, they are adults now!  When the boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over, don’t make them feel awkward.  They have their own room and nobody is bothering you.  Leaving a tray of snacks outside their door is a very kind gesture.

 

  1. Always make sure you provide them with a nice vehicle to drive. Never expect them to be responsible for any aspect of said vehicle. A loving parent would provide a gas card, perform routine maintenance (oil changes) and clean the car regularly.  Be sure you pay the insurance and that you place a valid insurance card inside the vehicle.

 

  1. Continue to pay their personal expenses. You’re expecting far too much if you expect them to buy their clothes, cell phone, car insurance, car expenses or any other cost that is directly attributed to them.  Any parental expectations of this kind will negatively impact the stock prices of such companies as Starbucks, Pink, Apple and Game Stop.  As you can see, if you were to expect financial accountability, you would be unpopular with not only your own family, but a wide range of shareholders as well!

 

  1. Don’t expect them to work at a job that is beneath their dignity. After all, wasn’t YOUR first job in management? Ok, I know, that was probably not the case.  But you shouldn’t expect them to go to a place where the people in charge are mean to them when they do not perform as expected.   Don’t encourage them to stay in such an abusive work environment!

 If you follow all of the suggestions listed above, you can be relatively sure that they will never leave the nest.  Just continue to keep up your part to ensure your reservation in the “good” nursing home!

If, however, your goal is to raise financially competent young adults who are able to move out on their own, check out some other articles by The Launch Lady.    www.the-launch-lady.com/about

life skills, mother love, parenting, Parenting humor, Parenting teens and young adults, stay at home mom

Will Work For Food

will work for food

Yes, I was THAT mom.  For more than 10 years, I was a stay-at-home mom.  When you can only rely on yourself and your family for low budget entertainment, sometimes this is all you can come up with!  I have collected a lot of pictures, but this is one of my most memorable.

This picture conjures up a visual of The Little Red Hen in my mind.  To make a long story short, the hen solicited the help of the other farm animals to assist her and her chicks in planting the grain, but they were busy and disinterested.  She later invited them to participate in the other activities such as harvesting, threshing, milling the flour and finally baking the bread.    Again, they were quite too busy to help.  When the fresh hot bread came out of the oven, she asked who would help eat it.  Miraculously, the busy farm animals were suddenly available.  In the not-so-subtle moral of the story, she informed the lazy animals that since they were too busy to help put the food on the table, then they were not welcome to enjoy the finished product.  She, along with her chicks who worked alongside her, finished every crumb while the farm animals sadly watched.

This is how life works.   This wise mother hen was teaching her young chicks the value of work so they could take care of themselves without starving.  Maybe it was because she wanted to be sure that they could take care of themselves when they no longer had her to depend on.  Or maybe it was because there was no basement in the hen house and space was at a premium.  Either way, she did her part to ensure that her chicks had the tools to become independent.  The rest of the farm animals were never heard from again, so we can only speculate what happened to them.

I hope I have taught this lesson well to my own girls.  This picture will always be a reminder to them that in this house, even the FOOD works for food!

#littleredhen #lifeskills #nosuchthingasafreelunch #parentinghumor #parenting #causeandeffect #willworkforfood

mother love, parenting, Parenting humor, Parenting teens and young adults, parenting young adults

Eviction Papers Served-Launch Lady Style

petting rug

I’ve been fostering my daughter’s cat while she prepares to move into a new home.  Here are the papers she was served yesterday:

EVICTION NOTICE

Princess (2)
Miss Kitty

In addition to being a free-loading, pseudo independent yet arrogant tenant, the pictured individual wreaks of entitlement.  She demands that her aging landlord meet, without fail, on the “petting rug” every time the landlord walks into the house. The landlord is expected to clean up the tenant’s excrement daily.  If the tenant’s meals are not delivered on time, her protests would wake the dead. The landlord is informed daily when the sun comes up whether or not the boundaryless boarder has any particular needs to address.  Unfortunately for the landlord, a full moon seems to confuse the domestic inhabitant who likes to sound the “sun up” alarm at random intervals throughout the night.   One of the freeloading squatter’s most memorable feats is the “pop and run”.  This is when the loitering leech skulks off to the side and rear of the recliner where the landlord rests.   This activity always begins with the tenant displaying large pupils.  If the landlord ignores her long enough, the crazed occupant will spring up from the side, execute a quick bite, then run like a crafty little coward.

Miss Kitty must vacate the premises no later than noon on Sunday, but preferably by the previous Saturday evening to allow her landlord one good night’s sleep before the new tenants arrive on Sunday).

Despite her selfish qualities, Princess Kitty will be greatly missed.

mother love, parenting, Parenting humor, Parenting teens and young adults, parenting young adults, Uncategorized

A Mother With a Soul

IMG_8553

I woke up very early this morning and decided to get up in order to work on a very definite project. Unfortunately, as is often my experience, accomplishing certain things on the computer is like walking on scorching coals through the deepest chambers of hell. It didn’t take long for me to abort my intended project and pick up a book. At least I am confident in my ability to turn a page without outside intervention. Today’s selection was “Chicken Soup for the Soul; Like Mother, Like Daughter”. I sometimes wonder whether the mission of the Launch Lady makes her appear to be devoid of a soul. If there is any correlation between a soul and leaking eyes then I do, indeed, have one.

What an amazing way to start the day. I read about six stories and was touched by each and every one. My emotions ran the gamut from “I remember how hard I tried to be like THAT mom” to “Someday, maybe even soon, MY little girls might become moms”. I became a mom nearly 25 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the scariest thing in the world to assume the responsibility for this brand new little “creature” whose total dependence was almost entirely entrusted to me. My firstborn was everything I could have hoped for. She was beautiful, smart, loving and she accomplished all of the milestones with textbook precision.   After a couple years, I was feeling remotely successful and maybe a little cocky. I thought, “maybe I should do this again, but only once because I only have two hands”! My second bundle of joy was just as awesome as the first but I was much more relaxed in the way I handled her. I remember sitting her infant self on the table at a dinner with extended family. Each time someone spoke, I would pivot her body in their direction so she could listen to them speak. She was my obliging little puppet. She was very different from her sister in every possible way. While number one was sleeping from 8pm to 6am at age one, number two woke me up every night for ten years. While she was my infant puppet, I was her decade long jack-in-the-box; popping out of bed each time she cried for me at night or showed up at my bedside!

One of the most important things for me was to make sure that they grew up to be independent.   In doing so, I hope that they were given the proper balance of love and responsibility. I’m not really sure how I did but thankfully, there are two of them so they can laugh with each other about all of the different ways I tried to achieve compliance from them. Everyone knows that the darn “things” don’t come with manuals. Once you think you have found the perfect blueprint for successful parenting, the next child comes along and shatters that confidence.

Regardless of what I did, they have both proven, in very different ways, that I can count on them to be independent. Conversely, I know that I have given them the love that they need. There are many faces of love. Sometimes love is giving and sometimes love is teaching. Often, showing love involves using the word “No”. What I know for sure is that I am best at giving the kind that encourages them to spread their wings and fly.  Number two was married last month and number one will be married soon enough. Every time I see them achieving a “grown up” milestone, my heart swells with pride and overflows with love. Too often these days, like when reading poignant stories about mothers and daughters, my eyes begin to overflow as well. Every sentimental exchange is prefaced with “Mom, you’re not going to cry, are you?” No, my dear girls, I will try to keep my vision from clouding so I can savor every moment of watching you experience the very same things that you etched into my heart and soul as priceless memories!

life skills, parenting, Parenting humor, Parenting teens and young adults, parenting young adults

My College Educated Daughter Didn’t Know How to Mail a Letter

IMG_7726 (1)The recent conversation went something like this:

Her: “Mom, should I use THOSE stamps?”

Me: “No, your letter will not get very far with a 2 cent stamp!”

Her: “Then why do you have them?”

And that’s when I ran out of things to say.  We all get used to things being a certain way and hardly notice when they change.  You probably remember the time before the Forever Stamp came along when stamps had a specific value.  For a while, they were rapidly going up a cent or two at a time.  I purchased an assortment of one and two cent stamps so I could finish up my entire 100 roll of obsolete postage.

Her question led to a scintillating conversation about the history of stamps (which was pretty much summed up in the preceding paragraph).  It made me start to think.  Parents and Millennials are living in two different worlds and we have to somehow build a bridge between them.   Some of the things I grew up doing, such as mailing a letter, are not as common any more.  Regardless, the little necessities are still very important.  I know of another young adult who hesitated to mail some very important papers because she had never been to the post office and did not know how to mail a certified letter.

Anyone who has known me since the day of their birth knows that I like words.  I have a habit of occasionally using one that I assume they do not know so I can then subtly define it in the next sentence.  When asked for a definition to someone else’s obscure word, I would suggest the dictionary.  Despite my best efforts, no one but me would pick up a dictionary and hunt for a word.  In all honesty, I no longer enjoy it since the printing has shrunk.  Since I have been schooled in the wonders of the internet, I now look up all of my words the quick and easy way.

I tried hard to teach my girls to read a map.  They couldn’t have been any less interested.  I was concerned, on one account, that after first getting her driver’s license that she would never return home…not because she was a runner but because she was directionally impaired.  When she started to return home with regularity, I became acquainted with Google Maps.  If their phone goes dead on a trip and they don’t have a charger, they’ll wish they had participated in Map Reading 101!

I flip out when I watch someone use a calculator to count Monopoly money!  The calculator was an awesome invention, but I sometimes use my actual brain so that I don’t lose my ability to think. I want to make sure that if I ever had to work a cash register again that I would be able to correctly count back the change, no matter what the register told me it should be.

Before you think I’m being cruel in relaying this story, I have been given permission…only because the subject individual looked at me with pity when I admitted that I do not know how to set up a new email address.  We need each other.   Our Millennials are instrumental in helping some of us with all things technology.  They need us to help them experience countless small things that have to be done to navigate life. I had planned to do some decluttering tonight.  I think I’ll start with the two cent stamps!